wildwoosi (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wildwoosi) wrote,@ 2009-03-28 19:12:00 |
|
| Current mood: |  thoughtful |
| Current music: | Times They are a-Changing |
Reminding Myself
I used to think that I was the type of person who couldn't go to sleep if there was any noise ... a distant radio or people talking outside would keep me up. That's just the way I was. Then I was challenged to change that, and realized that it wasn't part of who I was. I'd decided that I couldn't go to sleep with noise, and that was what was actually keeping me up. More than the noise, my anger at the people who were making the noise kept me up. I'd lay in bed grumbling and blaming those noisy people for keeping me awake and spent many a wakeful hour wishing they'd just shut up.
Once I realized that this was something I'd decided about myself, not just the way I was, and that my anger was keeping me awake, not the noise, I could change both things. Noise still wakes me up, but unless it's really loud or obnoxious, I just fall right back to sleep. There's a lot of power in that... in realizing that you are who you've decided to be. It comes with a price, of course, you can't blame other people anymore. If you don't like it who you are, well, get busy.
So, I've incorporated this sleeping with noise into my daily existence, but I'd kinda forgotten about looking at myself critically from time to time and challenging myself whenever I have that "it's just who I am" feelings. Making sure who I've decided to be is who I consciously want to be and how I'm actually being in the world.
